Cotton Mouth

I sleep cotton mouthed again
Green in my head
Red in my eye
Asleep awake
Empty vessels
Of human kind
Grumble
For the meal
Of a human mind.
Waves crash on to me
And the sea reels me in
I give in without a fight
Its bliss that I seek
Dark caverns
Deep beds
No light in here
No light in here
Eerie creepy crawlies
Eyes shining bright
Stuck in
A time warp
No place to go
No memory of where
I came from
Image splits’
A thousand
Mirror ways
Crazed by
Visions too many
To comprehend
I sleep cotton mouthed.

It's all been done

Its all been done before
There is nothing new under the sun
We aint no romeo and Juliet
To die for love
Its all been done before
Nothing new under the sun

Park your car in my space
Another slot another chapter
Open shut
Its all been done before
There’s nothing new under the sun

Mark my name
With stenciled patience
Here and gone
Its all been done before
There ‘s nothing new nder the sun

A lovers gaze
Can be uncomfortable
Too much of anything
Is hard to swallow
Its all been done before
There’s nothing new under the sun

Break your bend
Mend your fences
And Let your heart go
Its all been done before
There’s nothing new under the sun.

It s easier
Its uncomplicated
Rather than have your heart in two
Killer or savior?
It doesn’t matter
Its all been done before
After all,There’s nothing new under the sun!

Ephemeral Existence

Beauty stand still
Beauty last
Hide and seek
Nature’s game
Unconquerable
But beauty stand still
Let me gaze into your eyes
Feel the soft caress
Of unwinding minutes
So elusive
Sands of time
Slip through fingers
Thro filters of mind
Beauty stand still

SOLITARY

Solitary day
Solitary night
Solitary hand
Solitary fight
Solitary fear
Solitary solace
Solitary moon
Solitary me

TERMINAL AND FUTURE

What is it about the airports that creeps me out?

I had the chance to find out today! I walk up to the counter to get my boarding pass, and nonchalantly gave the KF girl (might as well coin a terminology) my e ticket. Her pretty ,chubby ,oh im a KF girl! I made it ! elated Punjabi face looked puzzled.. I wanted to crook my face like a dog to get another angle. I looked at her dazed , while she says that it dated for the 28th of May. I had given her a wrong e ticket! so I panic appropriately and search (frantic!) while she calls my attention with her perfectly manicured pink (waaagh!) nails. I go to her and she calls out my name… so I wait to find out and its all good. I had the boarding pass in my hands before I could say spitzer!

Now as I go across the security check up with a can of Sprite (had a sudden attack of cotton mouth), I was messaging randomly and I walked into a rope , instead of an escalator and this time I definitely heard people laughing. So I look sufficiently sheepish and walked down.

In an attempt to wrench the last drop of Sprite out of the can, I invert the can to my mouth thinking , “what if it drips?”, while it drips on my face and an entire lounge of people are staring at me. I clumsily wipe across my mouth and see they have left stains on my t shirt. Damn!

Finally in the lounge , I search for a vacant seat to save myself from any further embarrassment . I find one (people are staring), am sitting ..
Well I almost sat, as some female voice screeched for all passengers to board the bus.

In the bus , this time I was careful not to fall, I saw a beautiful sunrise in Bombay! Well almost, while the huge planes blocked the sky. So I craned to catch a glimpse of it; moving my head from one side to the other , I finally got my sunrise ( people are staring) , and I couldn’t help smiling (people are staring).

I get into the plane and walk confidently, to sit on my seat 24B . I am settled happily . A gentleman next to me points out o me , that im in the wrong seat. My seat is across the aisle. What lays in my vision , is this is really fat guy (no offence meant!) sitting on the corner seat and another old gentleman has the window seat. So I muster the courage to walk up there and nestle in whatever space I get.

See,I am a tall mammal, I need space ,about at least 6 feet by 3 feet. I am claustrophobic and i see there is no leg space in the emergency exit seats, which is supposed to have the greatest leg space. And this is KF, small , intrusive , commercial…and there is nothing I like in that flight except for the chicks, and some decent service! Damn ! Squeeze! Aargh!^%$#!

I fall asleep in spite of lana gupta, the lack of space, and the take off!
I open my eyes just in time to have the stewardess ask me if I wanted some tea. I reply that I want coffee. Her eyes scan me in my seat and notices at my tray table unopened, no tray of food, and she asks, "you were not served?". I sufficiently shake my head to look like a sad dog, and she reprimands the other air hostess.
So this pretty airhostess then comes over and apologizes sufficiently
And instead offers me cookies, which I munch unashamedly. The crumbs are on my t shirt.

I get off the airplane , without an incident thank god! And on my way out , I kept messaging on the phone, listening to music, humming the lyrics and slugging the bags when the phone falls out of my hand crash lands and splits wide open. People gasp! Without looking back , cursing under my breath, I run to the wrong taxi stand ….

In the presence of the DEVIL/In the absence of GOD

U lay there
Writhing in agony
I see your face
Ur eyes shut
With the weight of misery
Twist and turn
Your face changes
It contorts
Moves in angles, juxtaposed
Your mouth opens
No sound
A scream, a wail,
Flailing your arms
Leave me! Leave me!
Death , leave me.

They are trying to kill me!
Quick take me away!
Who are you?
Kill me!
Kill u!
Don’t want to fight!
I will win!
Thoughts chasing each other
You scream them out loud
Leave them ! leave them!
Death, leave me.

I feel the presence of a devil
A lunatic, a mad woman,
A paranoia…… it alters reality
Your world has only the thoughts That run in your mind
Its your kingdom And you will see it run amok
Its your kingdom But your not the king
….As yet.


She condems Death
MOANS, bemoans!
Greed,LUST,
Anger,Hate
HATE ,HATE,HATE
MYSELF !, MYSELF !
YOU, YOU !
She fades in and out
But she never stops talking
She babbles her biography
To old, worn ears
Fights, talks ,jabbers
Screams!
Withered old hands turning black
Her face a loose mask on
The devil’s shadow
She screams in fear
In pain!
She is tied to the crucifix of her mind
And she wants to break free! Escape!
I see death hanging by the door
I will see him again
Soon!

Words.. words...words

ANATHEMA



Music has me in her grip,she has been tripping my mind. So here goes a collection of songs, some snippets of music & lyrics.


When you look at me
From your own century
I may seem to be
Strange archeology
But when the winds blow
From this direction
You may sense me there
In your reflection
I think I feel you
But I will never know
As the swallows leave
And the children grow

I wanted to live forever
The same is you will too
I wanted to live forever
And everybody knew

When I caught you there
In tomorrows mirror
I thought felt you
Jump out of my skin
Throwing oil into
My blazing memories
Filling empty footsteps
I was standing in

I wanted to live forever
The same as you will too
I wanted to live forever
And everybody knew

As the falling rain
Of the northern jungle
Hanging droplets on the leaves
Bombards my brain
I hear you
Across the room
A sea of daffodils spring into bloom
You are the mist
The frost across my window pane
And again

She moves her body
And her whispers weave
And the world spins
And tells me that I'll never want to leave

As I think of you
From this dark century
I will always be
With generosity
That we both may share
The hope in hearing
That we're not just
Spirits disappearing

Don't dwell on the forthcoming
As I know it won't be happening
And you know, when I'm gone
You'll hear my cries on the wind

Today I introduced myself,
To my own feelings,
In silent agony, after all these years,
They spoke to me... after all these years

Believe in angels, they believe in you
Oh, spread your wings, there is more than this darkness
Open your eyes, the horizon has no end
You can see forever, you can know all time
You can live forever...

Every dusk can blind, as a sunrise on a day
Every sunset there is, lifts the eternal sunrise
And the sunrise ends when the sun dies...
And every ending has an eternal beginning...
We are the bible...

We are just a moment in time
A blink of an eye
A dream for the blind
Visions from a dying brain
I hope you don't understand

I'll dance with the angels to celebrate the holocaust,
And far beyond my far gone pride,
Is knowing that we'll soon be gone,
Knowing that I'll soon be gone...

*Anathema Rocks! what more can I say?

FROU FROU




If love is surrender
Then whose war is it anyway?


I'm adoring you
It's all good
You're so beautiful
I'm black and blue all over
You're breaking my flow
How could you know what I'm saying about it
When all of my clothes feel like somebody's old throwaways
I don't like it

Music is worthless unless it can make a
Complete stranger break down and cry

let go,let go
Jump in
Oh well, what you waiting for?
It's all right
'Cause there's beauty in the breakdown
It gains the more it gives
And then it rises with the fall
So hand me that remote
Can't you see that all that stuff's a sideshow?
Such boundless pleasure
We've no time for later
Now you can't await
your own arrival
you've twenty seconds to comply!

* Frou frou sings my heart.. cant help loving them!

Happiness

Happiness strewn on the floor,
A black beaten up laptop bag,
Rubbish basket shining incandescent red light,
And yellow walls heating up the sun!
A green frog smiles fondly from the bed,
There’s somerset maughaum,the hindu ,
And filmfare !
Happiness strewn on the bed,
Im sprawled over a laptop,
Me grinning and my face lighting Up
by the light of the laptop.
It must be a scary sight.
My body slowly moving
To the beats of a song
Happiness strewn on my laptop.
Blue , bean bag , chair ,sofa seat
Cords ,realms of wire,paper,
Boxes stacked boxes in the corner
A line of dust lays
Clearly.
Happiness strewn all over
Old stereos , unkempt
Broken .
A million speakers of all shapes and sizes
Monstrosity at its best.
Zippo fluid, no zippo’s
Shuffle and dust
Happiness for ever.

Thanks Aseem!

Whatisit?

As my hands get closer
They shiver
My eyes flutter
Shut and open
They blur my vision
Create an alternate reality
What if I am stuck in that blur
And cant see the world clearly ever again
That’s my fear.

Its painful, an alien
Sneaking in stealthily
Or so it thinks’
While I feel
Its presence, its character
Watering, gleaming red
That’s what I fear.

Oh its so stubborn,
I prick and i prod and i probe
Refuses to budge!
When its finally forced
From its artificial womb
It tears , it tears…..
That’s what I fear.


They are supposed to make me pretty,
But all people can see is the weariness.
Dark coffee brown, they reveal the world
The love , the lust…the lust for life,
Too eager and too direct,
It makes them uncomfortable
I turn people on and turn people off
Like switches of a plane crashing
Blinkers! Blinkers !
That’s what I fear.


And for just once
Find a wanderer searching for weariness
For truth.. and find it
Like it … love it perhaps!
Then where will I hide
Im naked without them
Im empowered without them
That’s what I fear

Folks ! Please post your comments on what this song is all about!

A Note to You

I cant lie awake
So I lie asleep
Nevermind baby,
U r wat I think of

Wished for some time in a bubble wrap
That’s all I ask.

Safely soaking in ur arms ,
Laughing easily,
Kissing naturally,
Wanting passionately!

How can it be so sublime
And yet so intense!
I cannot fathom…

Wished for some time in the bubble wrap baby
That’s all I ask!

Things have a way of happening around us,
Nature conspiring to make things happen,
Like the first time we went on a drive
And I heard , what I felt from a stranger on the stereo.
The first time we kissed ,
Did I hear a pop and some sizzle?

How can it be so sublime
And yet so intense
I cannot fathom...

Wished for some time in the bubble wrap baby
That’s all I ask!


You say you like me
And you want me to be a friend,
That’s hope baby!
Want to find out
What
I want to be with you,
not Whom
I want to be with you.

How can it be so sublime
And yet so intense
I cannot fathom..

Wished for some time in the bubble wrap baby
That’s all I ask!

You say forgetmeremembermeforgetme,
Bringing future to the present
We still have time, darling…
To find how we fit,
Your groove and my ridges,
Which parts of my puzzle
You complete!

How can it be so sublime
And yet so intense
I cannot fathom ..

Wished for some time in the bubble wrap baby
That’s all I ask!

Wished for some time , baby
that's all i ask.

Embers

embers glow at my fingertips,
embers glow , bright orange reflected on my walls,
embers glow , slowly in my mind,

dancing ,leaping,
bringing in new shapes,
destroying old,
forming thoughts, ideas,

thoughts of many
thoughts of one
many leading ..always leading
to one and only one..

am in heaven , am in hell
am in bliss and delightfully in disgust!
not pursuing things i want to,
and doing things i dont want to.

keeping myself busy,
want to be still,
fingers busy stroking the embers,
mouth busy fanning the embers,
to glow brighter,
to show me the light.

always busy,
wanna be so still,
seeing everything,
but what i want to see,
is oblivious.....
embers..
glowing..
embers...
dying!

Billboards that Rock!!

Funnies!

Something for everybody!!

What I am listening to!!

This blog was supposed to start differently ..
i wanted to talk about a song which a friend of mine , had recommended and write about that song.Simultaneously ,i also went on to do some research on the certain british rock bands and i came across a few interesting artists . I liked the Ocean Colour Scene and Cary Brothers.. and they were surprisingly good.Their music is a part of jam/alternative rock like Dave mathews band. But they posses a unique sound... very much like coldplay!Here , i have one of their songs ,it's a cover of a Billy Idol song, sung really well by this English rock band called "Ocean Colour Scene" ! The song's called Robin Hood...

When you're starting to choke take some pills with your coke
Its inspirational
When your life is a mess light one more cigarette
Its so logical

Well its something your mother cant abide
But its something that I freely prescribe

Take yourself for a ride
It never felt so good
As the night that you and I played robin hood
Stealing from the back rooms of my mind
Remembering a time when we were five
A time I thought wed left behind

When Im starting to cry
Come and sit by my side
I will love you so
And when nightmares come
I will try to be fun, even though;
Im so scared you know

Well its something your mother cant abide
But its something that I freely prescribe

Take yourself for a ride
It never felt so good
As the night that you and I played robin hood
Stealing from the backrooms of our minds
Stealing from a time when we were five
A time I thought wed left behind

Stealing from the backrooms of our minds
Stealing from a time when we were five
A time I thought wed left behind

When youre starting to choke take some pills with your coke
Its hysterical!

...And i ended writing about these bands!!
Watch this space!

Watch this space!!

Can the real Indians please stand up!!

I recently read an article in The Hindu , about Russell Peters and how the junta in India didn't like his brand of humor, and I was really not surprised! Indian audiences , are not exposed to stand up comedy. I don't think they understand 'spelling out the obvious and laughing at it'. It's contrived and its real ... and often rude! But that's Stand Up Comedy. If we weren't too busy taking ourselves seriously , we could have a good time with Russell Peters. He is articulate , funny and he is right!

Stand Up is a competitive field and one of our own has rocked the boat in the USA and Canada... making the Indian appeal universal! So all my dear Indian friends ... let your hair down and have some whacky fun !

My tattoo!!

This is my proudest possession till date, the phoenix tattooed on the back of my shoulder! Getting the tattoo was a subliminal experience. It was etching each and every incident of my life on myself! Now I hear that tattooing is very addictive post facto , which i agree to, cos i wanna get another done ! Anyone thinking about getting a tattoo done, don't think too much, just decide on the design and go for it!!

Paradox...transience...imagination....Duh?

Hey !! Its been a long time ....well more than a year than i blogged! My life has turned topsy turvy by a series of rather fortunate accidents which have lead me to this particular road in life! I am not particularly complaining , it could have been worse! Nevertheless , instead of perusing my last year and boring myself with the quite mundane episodes that have dictated my life , i will move on what is currently occurring ; "Nothing!"

"Nothing!" is what is currently dictating my life .It seems ironical , that a single word can encompass an entire gamut of feelings and expressions. The paradox of all paradoxes. How can a single word express everything?

A paradox is defined as "A seemingly contradictory statement that may nonetheless be true." Then , well my life has been that. How can something transient be permanent? That's what I have been trying to accomplish. To hold something transient, sculpt it into concrete so that it becomes permanent at least in my mind.Well the object of my ephemeral desire has moved on and so has my mind !

P.S : Please ignore this mindless bullshit!! will make an effort to write something of further uselessness in the future.