TERMINAL AND FUTURE

What is it about the airports that creeps me out?

I had the chance to find out today! I walk up to the counter to get my boarding pass, and nonchalantly gave the KF girl (might as well coin a terminology) my e ticket. Her pretty ,chubby ,oh im a KF girl! I made it ! elated Punjabi face looked puzzled.. I wanted to crook my face like a dog to get another angle. I looked at her dazed , while she says that it dated for the 28th of May. I had given her a wrong e ticket! so I panic appropriately and search (frantic!) while she calls my attention with her perfectly manicured pink (waaagh!) nails. I go to her and she calls out my name… so I wait to find out and its all good. I had the boarding pass in my hands before I could say spitzer!

Now as I go across the security check up with a can of Sprite (had a sudden attack of cotton mouth), I was messaging randomly and I walked into a rope , instead of an escalator and this time I definitely heard people laughing. So I look sufficiently sheepish and walked down.

In an attempt to wrench the last drop of Sprite out of the can, I invert the can to my mouth thinking , “what if it drips?”, while it drips on my face and an entire lounge of people are staring at me. I clumsily wipe across my mouth and see they have left stains on my t shirt. Damn!

Finally in the lounge , I search for a vacant seat to save myself from any further embarrassment . I find one (people are staring), am sitting ..
Well I almost sat, as some female voice screeched for all passengers to board the bus.

In the bus , this time I was careful not to fall, I saw a beautiful sunrise in Bombay! Well almost, while the huge planes blocked the sky. So I craned to catch a glimpse of it; moving my head from one side to the other , I finally got my sunrise ( people are staring) , and I couldn’t help smiling (people are staring).

I get into the plane and walk confidently, to sit on my seat 24B . I am settled happily . A gentleman next to me points out o me , that im in the wrong seat. My seat is across the aisle. What lays in my vision , is this is really fat guy (no offence meant!) sitting on the corner seat and another old gentleman has the window seat. So I muster the courage to walk up there and nestle in whatever space I get.

See,I am a tall mammal, I need space ,about at least 6 feet by 3 feet. I am claustrophobic and i see there is no leg space in the emergency exit seats, which is supposed to have the greatest leg space. And this is KF, small , intrusive , commercial…and there is nothing I like in that flight except for the chicks, and some decent service! Damn ! Squeeze! Aargh!^%$#!

I fall asleep in spite of lana gupta, the lack of space, and the take off!
I open my eyes just in time to have the stewardess ask me if I wanted some tea. I reply that I want coffee. Her eyes scan me in my seat and notices at my tray table unopened, no tray of food, and she asks, "you were not served?". I sufficiently shake my head to look like a sad dog, and she reprimands the other air hostess.
So this pretty airhostess then comes over and apologizes sufficiently
And instead offers me cookies, which I munch unashamedly. The crumbs are on my t shirt.

I get off the airplane , without an incident thank god! And on my way out , I kept messaging on the phone, listening to music, humming the lyrics and slugging the bags when the phone falls out of my hand crash lands and splits wide open. People gasp! Without looking back , cursing under my breath, I run to the wrong taxi stand ….